Take Two

Well, here we go again.

I'm back in Atlanta scheduled for surgery tomorrow morning. I hope that the doctor will not change his mind again.

It's at 9am....

Keep Your Fork

“Keep Your Fork” Inspirational Story

A woman was diagnosed with a terminal illness and given three months to live. She asked her Pastor to come to her home to discuss her final wishes. She told him which songs she wanted sung at her funeral, and what scriptures she wanted read, and which outfit she wanted to be buried in. Then she said, “One more thing… I want to be buried with a fork in my hand.” The pastor was surprised.

The woman explained, “In all my years of attending church socials and potluck dinners, I always remember that when the dishes of the main course were being cleared, someone would inevitably say to everyone, ‘Keep your fork.’ It was my favorite time of the dinner, because I knew something better was coming, like velvety chocolate cake or deep dish apple pie – something wonderful. So, I want people to see me there in that casket with a fork in my hand and wonder, “What’s with the fork?” Then, I want you to tell them, “Keep your fork, because the best is yet to come.”

Attributed to: Roger William Thomas (1996 3rd Serving of Chicken Soup for the Soul)

Plasmapheresis Rocks!

Dr. Johnston had a good idea. :) The plasmapheresis (which turned out to be a big deal and a lot of trouble) has helped me. I'm nowhere close to normal, but I am functioning about as well as I did on 60mg of Prednisone daily. For those of you who aren't aware...it was 9 months ago that I took that much. SO, what I'm saying is that I'm doing better now than I have since October. YAY!

I've moved back into my own place and given my poor parents a much-deserved reprieve from my presence in their house. I love it! I'd forgotten how much I enjoy living in my home.

I just got back from Girls' Camp, which was incredible. :D I had the best week... you can follow that experience at dothanyw.blogspot.com if you want.

Life is good. Yes. Yes it is.

I still want to schedule surgery, because I'm still not anywhere close to well, and this is just a temporary reprieve, but I'm so grateful to have it...

Thank you.

But if not...

Okay--does anyone remember the talk in General Conference about the couple who went to a general authority asking to be cured from cancer--the one where he tells them that he doesn't doubt that they have the faith to be healed, but did they have the faith NOT to be healed?

I'm not saying this is happening to me, but I feel like my faith is being stretched and pulled in a gazillion different directions at the same time.

I went to Atlanta and met with the surgeon--had a great consultation. The next day, I return to the hospital for the surgery. We check in and wait. As I'm laying in the bed ready to be whisked off to the operating room, a nurse comes and tells me Dr. Miller has decided to wait. He wants me to consult with a neurologist up here in Atlanta. Oh man--talk about disappointed!

So, I met Dr. Johnston. I like her. Except she wants to study and evaluate my case before approving surgery. UGH. So, now I'm spending my second week in Atlanta without surgery. I am trying a new treatment tomorrow--plasmapheresis. I'll have it for 5 days. It's a temporary fix, but I should feel better for a few weeks...maybe long enough for Dr. Johnston to decide the surgery will be beneficial for me.

Thank you for the prayers. :) I hope this treatment will help--even a small reprieve would be nice.

On the + side, I think I've fallen in love with Priceline.com. I got great accommodations in Atlanta this week for a good price.

Hello, World

How ya been? It feels like forever, and just yesterday at the same time, since I've been active on the blogging network...or any social network at all. I guess I'm ready to try to offer an explanation:

I'm sick. I don't mean I've-got-a-cold-and-need-a-good-pot-of-soup sick, but that I've developed a disease that is life-changing. Myasthenia Gravis. It's one of those things you hear about and thank God that 'you're healthy and don't have to deal with' things. I have a severe case affecting peripheral muscles, mainly. I've been battling it for 23 months now and my life will never be the same. Overnight, it seems, I went from being a normal, healthy, rock-climbing, horseback-riding, scuba diving girl to being essentially bedridden and completely incapacitated. It sucks.

I've often wondered why i chose to isolate myself from my friends and deal with this alone instead of leaning on them for support throughout this hellish ordeal...and the best reason I can come up with is pride. I've been so ashamed.

Now, I have the intelligence and knowledge to understand my condition medically, and I know that it's not my fault. I couldn't have prevented it, autoimmune disorders choose victims indiscriminately without rhyme or reason. But being the independent soul that I am, I couldn't stand for people who knew me as healthy to see me crippled and torn down.

I've been coming to terms with all of this and God and I have interesting discussions at times, but I have more good days (emotionally) than bad. However difficult it is to hang on to hope, my faith is strong. Still, I wouldn't be opposed to encouragement, ideas, and support from anyone inclined to offer some. :)

I also plead with you tonight for prayers...I'm having surgery in the morning to remove the thymus gland, and while I have the utmost faith in the capabilities of my surgeon, prayers from friends could only help.